32

Well yesterday was my birthday, I am officially 32! And you know what it was one of the best birthdays ever. Even though I had to work all day it was great. My sweet man sent me a dozen roses and the sweetest card. Dad and Mom took me to lunch and gave me a gift card to Kohl's (love that store). The guys at work bought me a cake and sang to me. After work I went and used my gift card ( you always get the best buys the day after christmas). I picked up some dinner and got Frank from work and we went home. The older kids had stayed home yesterday and they cleaned the house for me as their gift to me. I was so suprised. The whole night went well and I was getting ready to got get my shower and Franks daughter, Kelsey, looks at me and says " Julie." I answer " yes, sweety" . " I love you". My heart melted. For the last year this little girl has seen me as public enemy #1. In her eyes I was the reason that her family fell apart, even though it was apart long before me and her dad met. She has cussed me and called me every foul name you can imagin and several you (and I ) never knew exsisted. She was down here a week over the summer and wouldn't even try. This time she is happy and taking a part in everything the family does and she loves me. I couldn't have asked for a better birthday gift. She even gave me a hug. I know we still have a long way to go but to know she finally excepts me means so much to me.

I know, I know

OK I get it once every six months is not how you are suppose to blog. Life just seems to be flying by. It just seems like yesterday it was Christmas last year. So much has happened this year. Two more weeks and Frank and I will have been together a year. I never thought I find some one I would love this much. Yea things have been hard and at times I felt like the entire world has been against us and that everyone hated me for making the decision for being with him. Then I learned that it didn't matter as long as we loved each other. And two people who have a past and baggage are going to have some difficulties. I have never been in a real relationship and I have been on my own for 10 years and I have had a hard time letting him in and releasing control of my life and he has always been in a disfunctional relationship and has had a hard time excepting being loved for him. So there has been alot of butting heads and add to the mix five kids ( 3 that live with us) and 2 ex-spouses that are always in our business and you can guess at times our lives have felt like a disaster. But we have made it.

My kids are wonderful Jacob is loving school. Ashley loves middle school, she is playing the violin ( sitting 5th chair ) most of the year, i'm so proud of her. It is like she finally found her thing in life. Justin has made huge leaps forward. We still have a long way to go but, he is in school, perfect attendance this year, he has passed every six weeks ( by the skin of his teeth), he is playing basketball. I am so thankful for my family. Franks daughter Kelsey has decided to give me another chance she is coming to spend christmas break with us. I am hopeing that this will be a chance for us to get to know each other and she won't look at me as the enemy anymore.
We are all excited about our first Christmas together as a family. This will acually be the first real Christmas they have ever had. It is so hard for me to grasp the concept that Frank and the kids are from a disfunctional family. I don't think any of us can imagine a life like that. We were at my Moms Christmas party last night and she asked us to share our favorite Christmas memory and I could tell by the look on Franks face he was uncomfortable so we made our excuses and left. Laying in bed last night he told me he had no favorite memory. A good christmas for him growing up was when his mother wasn't drunk all day beating on him and his sisters. And in his adult life it wasn't any better. a bad marriage and stress of trying to hide it from their kids made the holidays miserable for him. I love him so much I want him to exspirance what it can be like.

I wish all of you a very happy holiday season. With all the joy and love of the season.