Just a for warning if you are faint hearted, looking to fix someones life, don't like to hear the down side of life DON"T READ THIS POST.
I have reached a point that if I don't let off some steam and vent a little then I am going to blow. I have kept it together as long as I can. Now don't get me wrong I love my life, I love my family, I love my friends. I have just hit my breaking point. For those that don't know my life has gone through a lot of changes over the past year and for the most part all the changes have been good. I am just having a hard time adjusting to the most recent changes. Frank and two of his kids moved in with me and my kids this year. I love having them here, but I am feeling like I am losing myself. My home no longer feels like MY HOME. I feel like I have been pushed out of my own place. Now I know that when someone moves in that you have to give up some stuff to make things fit. But I feel like I am giving up everything and getting nothing. The kids have over run the house anytime that I am at home I have to stay in my room which doesn't feel like my room because of all the crap that Frank has in there now. All my things have been moved in to a 3ft book shelf on one side of the room while all his stuff is taking up the rest of the room. The past weekend as I was adding yet another 6ft book shelf for him to put his things on I said to him at the rate he is going I will be out of the room in 3 months. He laughed...I was serious. The kids are pushing past my point of comfort. Its like they are trying to see how far I will go and when I try to tell Frank about it he thinks I am just being to hard on them. You see he puts down all these rules for the kids ( his and my kids both) yet he is never there to enforce the rules. Now I can handle my kids but his kids are 16 and 14 and I don't feel like I can disipline them and they know it. They sit around the house doing nothing but fighting and picking. They have taken over the living area of my house, taken over the computer, the phone, the yard....ect. And I am expected to do the cooking, the cleaning, driving them everywhere, do this do that but getting nothing in return. I have literally worked myself to the point of being sick, as a matter of fact I have been sick for the last 3 months. I have been to the doctor 4 times in three months, gotten 4 shots, been on 15 different kinds of meds, including anti depressants, I have missed numerous days at work, yet these selfish people I call my family still expect me to wait on them hand and foot.
And its not just the kids last week I was home from work three days very ill. I tried to work on Thursday but my boss sent me home early. I took the family out to dinner ( I didn't want to cook) had to go to the store after dinner to get stuff for the next morning, came home was getting the kids ready for bed Frank announces he needs his work clothes washed so up I get go do laundry, pick up the living room and then Justin said he needed his basketball uniform washed so I do more laundry. After a while I get a ice cream and go sit on the bed to wait for the clothes to dry and Frank gets mad because I didn't bring him anything he yells and I end up sleeping on the couch because he is mad at me. What the hell?!? Same thing today when I get up. Frank has the day off work I'm still not feeling well but have to get to work. On top of being sick my monthly is back for the second time this month ( think its due to all the meds) Frank is in the mood to be intimet I tell him I can't he gets mad and is not talking to me now. I have never loved anyone like I love him yet I have never been with some one as selfish as he is. He can never seem to see things from any other point of view than his own.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
not for the faint hearted: Blowing Off Steam
Posted by PRINCESS BRIDE at 8:14 AM
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9 comments:
okay sometime the truth is hard to hear but that is YOUR HOME you and YOUR kids. Julie you are not even married to him and it seems like you are trash to them. I love you Julie but you are really taken on alot and your body is telling you. Frank needs to either step up or step out.
LOVE YOU... I just hate you see you this way
I did tell you what I did out of LOVE. God has so much more for you.
OMG. OPEN YOUR EYES JULES. I LOVE YOU AND CARE WAY TO MUCH FOR YOU TO LET YOU TRAAT YOURSELF THIS WAY. YOU DESERVE BETTER. I DO LIKE FRANK, BUT I AM NOT LIKING THE WAY HE AND HIS KIDS TREAT YOU. I AGREE WITH CYNDI, FRANK NEED TO STEP UP OR STEP OFF...
AND I CAN UNDERSTAND IF YOU ARE TO OVERLOADED AND ILL TO TAKE ON THE WEDDING DETAILS JULES. IM SURE YOUR MOM WILL STEP UP IN THAT AREA FOR ME. DON'T RUN YOURSELF INTO AN EARLY GRAVE JULES FOR ANY MAN.
BY THE WAY. DID I TELL YOU THAT I LOVE YOU?
I love you so much and hate to see you having to go through this. Like I have told you so many times before - you are the only one who can change your situation.
Do you really want to spend the rest of your life like this? I know you love Frank and your actions back up your words. But are Franks words backed up by his actions as well?
Jules - no one should have to live like this. Your home is too small for all of the people that are in it. There is no way you alone can keep up with 4 kids, 4 dogs, the fish, a full time job, house cleaning, laundry, errand running for all of the kids and household necessities,so forth and so on without it taking a tole on your body.
And if you feel that you don't have a place (space) there any longer - can you only imagine how Ash and Jacob feel? How fair is it that they have given up half of their personal space to make eveyone happy. For the past year the three of you have put Frank and his family ahead of yourselves. The change that needs (has) to be made can only be made by you. What are you willing to do to make your situation better?
No Matter WHAT WE ALL LOVE YOU AND WE ALL WANT THE BEST FOR YOU ASHLEE AND JACOB....
I AM HERE FOR YOU ALWAYS
Julie, I have one question for you. In John 10:10, Jesus says that He has come to give us life abundantly. The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Has Frank brought abundant life to you? It may sound overly simplistic, but this is a really good way to measure many situations in life. I have been in relationships of my own making, all of them when I was walking with the Lord. But I found that I entered the relationship; God didn't direct me into them. They brought me much pain. I love you. You are in my prayers. Love, Tammie Coffman
WOW. I HAVE NEVER THOUGHT OF IT LIKE THAT TAMMY.....GOOD WORDS OF WISDOM. I WILL USE THAT TO MEASURE MANY THINGS IN MY LIFE FROM NOW ON. IF IT BRINGS LIFE, ITS OF GOD. IF IT IS NOT REFLECTING LIFE, THEN ITS NOT FROM GOD.
hi julie,
I am so sorry that you were, are, have been going through so much. If you just want to escape to my house, you are welcome. half the time, my kids are gone, spending the night somewhere or we are just here watching the walton's. Joel usually has business stuff on the weekends and I usually rest, or try to find someone to do something with. It is pretty quiet here without my teenager here anymore. Two kids, one husband, one dog, one cat and two acres. You could just sit outside when spring comes while I work in the garden. You could come over for coffee or tea. If you have to come over and do laundry, just to get away from your house. Life is too short. Your body is talking to you. Seek first the KOG and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.... I speak peace and prosperity over the places of stress and chaos.
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