Light at the end of the tunnel

Another new day and I am amazed how fast I am starting to feel like my old self. I thank you all for your prayers. I felt every one. Last night Frank came to comfront me face to face and give his last ditch effort to get me to let him back in my home and my life. Whith supernatural strength I was able to look him in the eye and tell him it was over and he needed to leave. My heart was sad at the devistation in his eyes in his eyes but I know now that he may have loved me but his kind of love is not a healthy form of love. His love was conditional and based on a physical feeling not one of heart. Today I feel like the world has been lifted off my shoulders. I stayed home from work yesterday and boxed up his things and started moving my things back into my house. It was liberating to take my home back. I knew he had taken over I just didn't realize how much. Even with the progress I am ashamed to say it is going to take a long time and alot of work to get my house back in order for the last three months I has completely shut down and my house shows it.

Almost over

Well another day has gone by and he isfinally going. He is fighting the enitreway out. I thought that it would be hard on me to finally let him go and to move on with my life but he has made it very easy on me to let go. This is not my first time around the block in relationships I have made my fair share of mistakes. But I have learnedfrom my mistakes and I can see everything that he is trying to pull. He has tried to sweet talk me and when that didn't work he try to knock me down. I must admit that i tworked for awhile I think I was atmy lowest yesterday but today has brought new hope and he has finally shown his real colors. I know I am going to make it through this.
Love ya all

Falling apart in limbo

Not much has changed since my last post. Frank is fighting leaving. Somewhere in his mind he thinks if he puts off leaving that I will have a change of heart, that I will love him more. Don't get me wrong I do care about him but you can love someone with everything in you and it still can be the worse thing in the world for you. I know this relationship is unhealthy and I want out I just can't get him to see that it is over. Everyday he stays I feel a little bit more of me slipping away. I feel so detached from my life, from my emotions. I am physically ill from this situation. I really do feel like I'm in limbo. I don't know if I can put into words what I feel like with out incriminating my self , lol. But it feels like a drug or alcohol high I can see life happening all around me yet I'm unable to reach out of the place I am at and join in. I keep thinking he will see how much I don't want him. I can't stand him touching me. Everything he says to me feels like I am under attack. I feel like I am a prisoner in my home. He questions me all the time. And if anything goes wrong it is all on me. I feel so trapped and I can't see a way out. I made the first step and told him to leave but the night I told him to go he beat me down emtionally so much I couldn't even fight back. I still can't fight back. I don't know what to do any more. Please continue to pray for me.

prayer

Dear Family and Friends,

I am writing letter to ask you to lift me and my children up in your prayers. Over the past year and a half I have been involved in a very unhealthy relationship and to my embarrassment this relationship has been with a married man. He has sworn to me he was getting a divorce and in my mind I wanted to believe him, but it has never happened. Our relationship has turned into one that has compromised my morals, my values and my self worth. Today I take a stand and am taking back the life God has promised me. I have always heard the first step is the hardest that is why I am asking for your support. I ask you all to pray for favor in my life. Most of all emotional, for me and my children, and second for financial the relationship not only depleted me emotionally but financially. By making him leave my home I am taking on double the bills I am also losing the only transportation that we have. Please remember us.

Love in Christ,
Julie Roberts