Not much has changed since my last post. Frank is fighting leaving. Somewhere in his mind he thinks if he puts off leaving that I will have a change of heart, that I will love him more. Don't get me wrong I do care about him but you can love someone with everything in you and it still can be the worse thing in the world for you. I know this relationship is unhealthy and I want out I just can't get him to see that it is over. Everyday he stays I feel a little bit more of me slipping away. I feel so detached from my life, from my emotions. I am physically ill from this situation. I really do feel like I'm in limbo. I don't know if I can put into words what I feel like with out incriminating my self , lol. But it feels like a drug or alcohol high I can see life happening all around me yet I'm unable to reach out of the place I am at and join in. I keep thinking he will see how much I don't want him. I can't stand him touching me. Everything he says to me feels like I am under attack. I feel like I am a prisoner in my home. He questions me all the time. And if anything goes wrong it is all on me. I feel so trapped and I can't see a way out. I made the first step and told him to leave but the night I told him to go he beat me down emtionally so much I couldn't even fight back. I still can't fight back. I don't know what to do any more. Please continue to pray for me.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
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2 comments:
WOW...YOU ARE GOING THROUGH THE EXACT THING I WENT THROUGH WITH KEN. IT SOUNDS EXACT.
GOD IS YOUR PROTECTOR AND YOUR REDEEMER JULES. STAND STRONG AND KEEP UP YOUR HEAD. I PRAY GOD IS THE LIFTER OF YOUR HEAD THIS DAY.
SATAN IS A LIER. AND HE IS USING FRANK TO GET TO YOU. YOU KNOW THIS IS NOT GOD'S WILL FOR YOUR LIFE OR YOUR CHILDREN'S LIVES. YOU HAVE TAKEN THE 1ST STEP AND GOD WILL SEE YOU THROUGH THE REST. STAND FIRM ON YOUR DECISION.
WHEN I DID THIS EXACT SAME THING WITH KEN AND MADE THIS SAME CHOICE THAT YOU ARE NOW MAKING WITH FRANK, GOD REDEEMED ME AND I AM BLESSED NOW MORE THAN WORDS CAN EVER EXPLAIN. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT GOD IS GOING TO DO IN YOUR LIFE JULES. ITS GONNA BE GREAT AND MIGHTY. I LOVE YOU.
God gives you what you need. You did not need to say anything to him. There is nothing fruitful that could help when Frank was in that mood. I am so glad he is done and gone..
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